I don't know how welcome this thought is but here it is anyway. I obviously don't know how your Mom is, how much she may still be there in some way, but it can't hurt to be there, to talk to her, read to her, just hold her hand, whatever she might have enjoyed in the past. Maybe she'll know. Maybe only you will know and remember.
I'll add my prayers for you and your Mom...
Rich
Mums dying
- Highspeed
- Posts: 2718
- Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 9:44 am
Re: Mums dying
Thanks Mike....
You know something Rich ? you are right. And I never thought of reading to her.Rich Jordan wrote:I don't know how welcome this thought is but here it is anyway. I obviously don't know how your Mom is, how much she may still be there in some way, but it can't hurt to be there, to talk to her, read to her, just hold her hand, whatever she might have enjoyed in the past. Maybe she'll know. Maybe only you will know and remember.
I'll add my prayers for you and your Mom...
Rich
All my life I been in the dog house
I guess that just where I belong
That just the way the dice roll
Do my dog house song
I guess that just where I belong
That just the way the dice roll
Do my dog house song
-
- Posts: 5268
- Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 6:01 pm
Re: Mums dying
In Dawn's last few days, she lived in a world of pain. I could tell by the furrowed brow and the tension in her face. The simple action of laying my hand in hers or talking to her, unfurrowed her brow and released tension in her face. It didn't last long and it was certainly no substitute for the morphine. But it made a difference.
Maybe it was the distraction. Maybe it was the power of Love. Maybe it was just her relaxing because she knew I was there. I have no idea. It made her less bad for a minute or three, so I did it often.
I also realize, now; it helped me. It brought me closer to her. It made me feel like being there made a difference, that I was helping just a little. Everyone is different, but I know I would regret NOT spending that time with her. So I spent it with her. I knew she had 3-14 days left. I stayed pretty much 24/7. In doing that, I also got to honor her last two wishes.
one - to have her die in my arms. I don't know if she realized it. But she took her last breath with me holding her. I promised to do it and thankfully I was able to
two - keep her mother from disgracing her death by being there. I did, but at a cost. A lessor cost then had I allowed it. If for no other reason then it is not on my soul.
Explanation redacted as inappropriate venue
I love my wife. Her family (kids excluded), well lets just say I didn't marry them and its a damn good thing. Not to mention a damn good thing they live in MD.
Highspeed, do what is right for you and right for your mother. You will never regret spending time with her, reading to her, telling her you love her with words and actions. That is time well spent for her and for you.
Maybe it was the distraction. Maybe it was the power of Love. Maybe it was just her relaxing because she knew I was there. I have no idea. It made her less bad for a minute or three, so I did it often.
I also realize, now; it helped me. It brought me closer to her. It made me feel like being there made a difference, that I was helping just a little. Everyone is different, but I know I would regret NOT spending that time with her. So I spent it with her. I knew she had 3-14 days left. I stayed pretty much 24/7. In doing that, I also got to honor her last two wishes.
one - to have her die in my arms. I don't know if she realized it. But she took her last breath with me holding her. I promised to do it and thankfully I was able to
two - keep her mother from disgracing her death by being there. I did, but at a cost. A lessor cost then had I allowed it. If for no other reason then it is not on my soul.
Explanation redacted as inappropriate venue
I love my wife. Her family (kids excluded), well lets just say I didn't marry them and its a damn good thing. Not to mention a damn good thing they live in MD.
Highspeed, do what is right for you and right for your mother. You will never regret spending time with her, reading to her, telling her you love her with words and actions. That is time well spent for her and for you.
"Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not." ~Thomas Jefferson
My little part of the blogosphere. http://blogletitburn.wordpress.com/
My little part of the blogosphere. http://blogletitburn.wordpress.com/
- Highspeed
- Posts: 2718
- Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 9:44 am
Re: Mums dying
It must have taken everything you had to write that Precision. I am truly humbled....
All my life I been in the dog house
I guess that just where I belong
That just the way the dice roll
Do my dog house song
I guess that just where I belong
That just the way the dice roll
Do my dog house song