It don't mean nothin' drive on

[Highspeed]

Me and my mum have never been close. She's a snob and someone who has never approved of my lifestyle choices. And every time I saw her she'd remind me of that.
Why did I choose to work with my hands ? why do I have all those awful tattoos ? why am I such a disgrace to the family ? why couldn't I have had a nice job in an office, wearing a smart suit and tie ? why did I have all those awful noisy motorbikes ?

So I basically avoided her from the moment I left home, because all she did was give me earache.

Until vinegar tits ( the wife ) kicked me out and I'm left with the option of living in a cardboard box in the gutter, or living at mums.
Mum drove me crazy at the beginning. That woman would have thought Hitler and Stalin were OK if they kept their houses tidy. It was like living with a blue rinsed drill instructor. She made my friends sit in the porch because she thought they made the house look untidy. All the time she was putting me down.

But about 4 weeks ago something changed. I don't know why or how, maybe she realised that she was driving me nuts and I had enough on my plate without being nagged about pointless bullshit from dawn till dusk. She actually started being a mum. For my part I left behind all the shit from the past, forgave her and we had a new start. We'd actually talk about things. I found out that when she was a young woman she dated the owner of the local motorcycle shop and rode pillion on his Triumph - she'd kept that very quiet

But you know that aviators saying that goes something like " No matter how bad the situation is right now, it always has the potential to get worse " ?

Last week she had a fall, getting out of her stairlift ( I think ). I heard a crash and found her lying on the floor at the foot of the stairs. She was choking on her dentures, so I cleared her airway and phoned the paramedics. She sustained a fractured skull, fractured neck and had a bleed on her brain.
I have been at the hospital with her on and off for days but I don't think there is any point now. She's gone.
She's still alive, but everything that made her the annoying force of nature type person she was has now evaporated. The best she can manage is to babble nonsense, most of the time she's asleep. I think she probably had some kind of neurological event that caused the fall.
The nursing staff are pleased with her progress, but they didn't know her before, and how mentally sharp she was despite being 87.

I can't wait to see what else life has in store for me.

It don't mean nothin' drive on...

[Precision]

Shit man.

A slight silver lining, at least you got to have your mother be decent to you before her event. Hold on to that as opposed to the crappy place you and she are at now. Brain damage is shit. So is senility, dementia and alzheimers.

And yes, drive on is the best thing. Simmering in the shit hand you have been dealt is never healthy.

My prayer are for you and some peace.

[g-man]

Damn brother. Unfortunate that it happened so soon after she finally came around, I'm really sorry for you for that. F*ck it, drive on, but still...

[Cobar]

Damn, that sucks, HS. Sorry that you have to deal with something like that. I agree though, drive on, no other option.

[randy]

Damn. Nothing else to add, but keep in mind we're thinking of you and are here to vent if needed.

[Darrell]

Hang in there, man. Take some solace that you and your mum made peace while you were both still sound in mind.

[First Shirt]

"I'm sorry" really doesn't cover it. Will keep you both in our thoughts and prayers, and if we can help, let us know.

[Vonz90]

"I'm sorry" really doesn't cover it. Will keep you both in our thoughts and prayers, and if we can help, let us know.

+1

[skb12172]

Is she a northern lady? It reminds me of John Lennon's Aunt Mimi, who raised him. From what I've read, in the UK, that's a northern thing. For what it's worth, my southern USA grandmother was the exact same way.

I'm very sorry this has happened. You've had quite a shit sandwich already. I know you think it's unlikely, but I hope she makes a drastic recovery with time.

[Highspeed]

Thank you all.
She's a tough old bird as we say here, but I think this time it's more than even she can overcome. I'm glad we put it all to rest before this happened. The night before the fall I kissed her and told her I loved her. She was a really lousy mother, but not everyone is cut out for raising kids. Thank god I never had any.

" Is she a northern lady? It reminds me of John Lennon's Aunt Mimi, who raised him. From what I've read, in the UK, that's a northern thing. For what it's worth, my southern USA grandmother was the exact same way "

We are from the Midlands, but people here are a lot like Northeners in attitude. She had a tough upbringing and managed to make herself relatively wealthy ( by small town standards ) just by using a shitload of hard work.

There really isn't anything left here for me now, except a lot of bad memories. Lots of " could have's " and " should have's "
I think I'll move to your side of the pond when she goes. I don't care about my immigration status, because I really don't have anything left to lose.