The Gun Counter

Seems legit.
Your Shwartz Is As Big As Mine!

They puss out too fast, and hardly even scratch the surface.
With a lightsaber, you're never lost.
You just have a new vacation home.
A few whacks, and now you have a tree transformed into a treehouse.
A pile of rocks in the desert is a new home. With molten glass for mortar.
Even a mud hut is quickly baked hard enough to withstand microwaves, in minutes.

Grizzly bear attack? Regular, or extra crispy bear steaks?

Signalling? One tree, one bonfire, coming up.

Clean water? Ponds purified to steam-bubbling potability while you wait.

Oh, and batteries aren't the problem the OP author imagines. This is Star Wars: there is such a thing as free lunch.
Hint: You didn't see Obi Wan or Luke checking to make sure they had enough D-cells before going hand to hand.
Those babies recharge by solar osmosis. Or a cold fusion core. Or mitochlorion-sucking protoplasm.
Or Magic Beans. Or phoenix feathers and dragon heartstring cores. Whateeeeeeeeeeeeeever.
Get over it.

The only real problem: the millions of maimed and dead fucktards who'll lop off their own heads or limbs with them when they go off in their pocket, in the car, in the suitcase, etc. Because nothing looks sillier than grabbing your backpack, accidentally activating The Switch, and suddenly having three feet of plasma sticking through you from belly to spine, with a surprised look on your face.
It's gonna happen.

What makes them a moral necessity: telling those fuckers at the TSA that it's just a flashlight, and they make you demonstrate it. Then cutting through them like Anakin Skywalker at a Sand People picnic. Nothing left at the boarding gate but a smoking pile of uniforms and body parts, and the echoing cheers of throngs of ecstatic onlookers. And after about two weeks, no more stinkin' TSA.

Aesop wrote:What makes them a moral necessity: telling those fuckers at the TSA that it's just a flashlight, and they make you demonstrate it. Then cutting through them like Anakin Skywalker at a Sand People picnic. Nothing left at the boarding gate but a smoking pile of uniforms and body parts, and the echoing cheers of throngs of ecstatic onlookers. And after about two weeks, no more stinkin' TSA.

Aesop wrote:They puss out too fast, and hardly even scratch the surface.
With a lightsaber, you're never lost.
You just have a new vacation home.
A few whacks, and now you have a tree transformed into a treehouse.
A pile of rocks in the desert is a new home. With molten glass for mortar.
Even a mud hut is quickly baked hard enough to withstand microwaves, in minutes.

Grizzly bear attack? Regular, or extra crispy bear steaks?

Signalling? One tree, one bonfire, coming up.

Clean water? Ponds purified to steam-bubbling potability while you wait.

Oh, and batteries aren't the problem the OP author imagines. This is Star Wars: there is such a thing as free lunch.
Hint: You didn't see Obi Wan or Luke checking to make sure they had enough D-cells before going hand to hand.
Those babies recharge by solar osmosis. Or a cold fusion core. Or mitochlorion-sucking protoplasm.
Or Magic Beans. Or phoenix feathers and dragon heartstring cores. Whateeeeeeeeeeeeeever.
Get over it.

The only real problem: the millions of maimed and dead fucktards who'll lop off their own heads or limbs with them when they go off in their pocket, in the car, in the suitcase, etc. Because nothing looks sillier than grabbing your backpack, accidentally activating The Switch, and suddenly having three feet of plasma sticking through you from belly to spine, with a surprised look on your face.
It's gonna happen.

What makes them a moral necessity: telling those fuckers at the TSA that it's just a flashlight, and they make you demonstrate it. Then cutting through them like Anakin Skywalker at a Sand People picnic. Nothing left at the boarding gate but a smoking pile of uniforms and body parts, and the echoing cheers of throngs of ecstatic onlookers. And after about two weeks, no more stinkin' TSA.

I do remember in one of the novels, Luke telling someone that most security scanners registered it as some type of razor. He remarked that if you careful enough he supposed you could use it for such but he wasn't going to try it.

The "Why it won't work" sections of that link sound almost like Aesop (at half snark, as it were).
The only function that might work is the last one, the quick preparation of sliced toast. Better than pre-sliced bread.

kapikui wrote:
I do remember in one of the novels, Luke telling someone that most security scanners registered it as some type of razor. He remarked that if you careful enough he supposed you could use it for such but he wasn't going to try it.

That would explain the beard now.

That's some necromancy.

If nothing else, if you're comfortable stopping bullets with a blade, there's no reason you shouldn't trust it in close proximity to your own face.

If you don't have that much confidence in your ability to use it as a beard trimmer, perhaps you should rethink the idea of deflecting lasers with it.

1) My factory snark settings were designed by Ruger, not Colt: there is no half-cock position, and I can fire full-power proof loads.
2) If light saber tech existed, by now Schick and Gillette would have micro-miniaturized it and would be using it to offer a closer shave. In fact, the new Gillette Septimus would have no less than seven tiny light saber beams to shave you as smooth as a baby's butt, and to instantly micro-cauterize any nicks and cuts.

Aesop wrote:1) My factory snark settings were designed by Ruger, not Colt: there is no half-cock position, and I can fire full-power proof loads.
2) If light saber tech existed, by now Schick and Gillette would have micro-miniaturized it and would be using it to offer a closer shave. In fact, the new Gillette Septimus would have no less than seven tiny light saber beams to shave you as smooth as a baby's butt, and to instantly micro-cauterize any nicks and cuts.

I'd buy two of those.

Aesop wrote:The only real problem: the millions of maimed and dead fucktards who'll lop off their own heads or limbs with them when they go off in their pocket, in the car, in the suitcase, etc. Because nothing looks sillier than grabbing your backpack, accidentally activating The Switch, and suddenly having three feet of plasma sticking through you from belly to spine, with a surprised look on your face.
It's gonna happen.

Feature, not a bug.