This won't rape my childhood.
Remakes, as a rule, are pure unredeemed shit unless and until they get everything right. It doesn't sound like I have to worry about them even coming close, based on Yogi's review. They are the rap music of cinema, repeating the same noise and stealing brighter people's creative efforts, and calling it something it isn't.
Given that they could simply reshoot the original in Detroit, today, using DHS and the TSA for background, and save gazillions on set decoration, the main question becomes why you'd want to. The original clearly was a documentary shot 20 years early.
This is like reshooting The China Syndrome
in Fukushima, and then changing everything.
Or going to Joplin to reshoot Twister
, and then making it about an earthquake, because Hollywood.
(And a billionaire
who lives in Detroit? Riiiiiiiight, because he can buy the whole town for pocket change, and then look out over his squalid, shitty, dirty snow-covered pestilential hellhole. As opposed to doinking hot chicks all day and living in a hollowed out volcano in the Caribbean. Sh'yeah, as if.)
And if they can't come up with somebody cool enough to be Robocop and Buckaroo Banzai all by himself, fuck 'em, he's too small a star.
(So instead of a movie by a Dutch director who bungles sci-fi and can make a movie about naked Vegas showgirls boring, we get a Swedish actor??? WTF?!? Might as well have made ABBA-cop. Bjorn finally snaps, gets sick of pitch-shifted airhead bitches, gets the band back together, except more like R.E.D., they go to Hollywood, and start capping them right and left. Call my agent, I can have the first draft ready by noon tomorrow, and we can get damn near every pop star to do a cameo for peanuts. Simon Cowell plays the villain. $200M box office in the first month, just in North America.)
If I wanted to see the futuristic version of The Terror Of Tiny Town
, I'd have gone to the Old Actor's Home, hired Warwick Davis, and put him in a tinfoil jumpsuit. And it would have kicked this one's ass.
"There are four types of homicide: felonious, accidental, justifiable, and praiseworthy." -Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"