Moron Thwarts Darwin

The place to talk about personal defense, preparedness, and survival; both armed and unarmed.
Aesop
Posts: 6149
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2013 9:17 am

Moron Thwarts Darwin

Post by Aesop »

Link
For one California man, what began as a day fishing trip quickly turned into a five-day fight for survival.

Mike Vilhauer, 58, went fishing Aug. 6 at Lower Sunset Lake in Alpine County when he noticed he wasn’t catching any fish. Deciding he needed more bait, Vilhauer, butterfly net in hand, left on what he thought would be a short trip to find some grasshoppers.

“I was just zigzagging up and down the mountain,” Vilhauer told ABC News. “I didn’t see anyone for quite a while.”

After a few hours, Vilhauer said it began to get late, and he decided he should probably head back to the fishing site. “That’s when the fun began,” he said.

Vilhauer began to make his way towards what he thought was the fishing site. But with darkness upon him at about 8 p.m., he decided to make shelter under a pine tree, covering himself with pine needles and willow branches in an attempt to stay warm. Vilhauer attempted to call 911, but a weak signal thwarted his efforts.

Vilhauer continued his search for the help on Thursday. Weak from his lack of food and water, he adapted what he called his “survivor man routine,” drinking water out of puddles, regardless of what else was in the puddle.
Unaccountably, the CHP, using helicopters, and local SAR groups found him after five days in the NorCal/Tahoe area Mokelumne Wilderness, at the 7800' level in the alpine forests about 25 miles south of Lake Tahoe.

Let's score his efforts:

The 2003 version of The Mountaineers Ten essentials:
Updated Ten Essential "Systems"

1.Navigation (map and compass) -Doofus had a raggedy old topo map, no idea how to use it, and no compass
2.Sun protection (sunglasses and sunscreen)- Nope
3.Insulation (extra clothing) - Nope
4.Illumination (headlamp/flashlight) - Another fail
5.First-aid supplies - fail
6.Fire (waterproof matches/lighter/candles) -fail
7.Repair kit and tools -no
8.Nutrition (extra food) -Total fail
9.Hydration (extra water)-total fail
10.Emergency shelter -absolute fail

Final score 5% out of 100: Too Stupid To Live.

The fee for rescue in such situations should include 10 days in the public ankle stocks, with a dunce cap, a billboard detailing your exploit, while local scouts and such were allowed to come by and throw fruit at you and put their chewed gum in your hair.
It's hard to say the planet wouldn't have been better served had this guy ended up as mountain lion scat, but evidently his family still wants him, for reasons passing understanding.
He should have his driver's license amended to read "not allowed more than 500' from pavement".
"There are four types of homicide: felonious, accidental, justifiable, and praiseworthy." -Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
User avatar
Windy Wilson
Posts: 4875
Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 5:32 am

Re: Moron Thwarts Darwin

Post by Windy Wilson »

Aesop wrote:Unaccountably, the CHP, using helicopters, and local SAR groups found him after five days in the NorCal/Tahoe area Mokelumne Wilderness, at the 7800' level in the alpine forests about 25 miles south of Lake Tahoe.
So much for the often-repeated greenhorn's tale about how when one is lost one will walk in circles due to the difference in development of the left and right sides of the body due to left- or right-handedness.
The use of the word "but" usually indicates that everything preceding it in a sentence is a lie.
E.g.:
"I believe in Freedom of Speech, but". . .
"I support the Second Amendment, but". . .
--Randy
Aesop
Posts: 6149
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2013 9:17 am

Re: Moron Thwarts Darwin

Post by Aesop »

Read the full article in the link; such headless-chicken stumbling and wandering is exactly what Mr. Fucktard was doing for four days.
As I noted on my blog, it takes a monumental kind of stupid to lose yourself in the proximity of a 200 acre lake, necessarily and topographically the lowest point in the area, by managing to somehow be unable to walk downhill to return to it, and then follow the shore to his fishing spot.

If anyone GoogleEarth's it, it's at 38D36'40"N, 119D52'30"W, one of a number of alpine lakes on some rugged terrain, with imagery from this May showing snow patches still on the ground. Zooming into the scene shows you'd have to wander for quite a ways off to "lose" the lake in question, with absolutely no idea how you got there.

This clown went wandering over hill and dale with no effing clue WTF he was doing, where he needed to be, or how to get from one to the other.
He really is an oxygen thief, lucky to be alive.

And here's an update from CBS 13 in Sacto:
He was rescued Sunday afternoon after a helicopter spotted Vilhauer’s ‘Help’ sign. He was uninjured, but exhausted. He said he was only four miles from the lake when he was rescued, but he traveled in circles during his ordeal.

“That’s when they told me, by-the-way, there’s no fish in that lake,” said Vilhauer.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
What a maroon!
"There are four types of homicide: felonious, accidental, justifiable, and praiseworthy." -Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
MarkD
Posts: 3969
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 5:59 pm

Re: Moron Thwarts Darwin

Post by MarkD »

Yaknow, the more I read about this dope,the more I'm convince he shouldn't be allowed out without a handler.

I fish a couple suburban reservoirs. I have to open a locked gate (key provided by the water company for a fee), I may have to walk up to a half mile or so for a fishing spot, maybe a bit more. I always have a least SOME water with me, and often a couple granola bars or something in case I want a snack. This from someone who's not more than a 20 minute hike from his CAR. My cell phone works there, plus I've never been there when I didn't see at least a few other people fishing. No one could get lost and starve there who wouldn't get lost and starve in anything more rural than Times Square, NYC. My biggest worry is tripping over a root or something and being unable to remove myself from the lake. I still take basic precautions to ensure my safety (my wife always knows which lake I'm going to, and I have the aforementioned minimal supplies with me, plus communications, plus the knowledge that I'm not more than a yell away from help).

This guy going alone, with no supplies, and getting lost in his quest for bait for nonexistent fish, etc makes me think he should confine his wilderness experiences to concrete-covered parks in urban areas.
User avatar
arctictom
Posts: 3204
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 7:57 pm

Re: Moron Thwarts Darwin

Post by arctictom »

We usually find those guys 2 or 3 years later or pieces of them anyway
You live and learn.
Or you don't live long.
rightisright
Posts: 4286
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 9:41 pm

Re: Moron Thwarts Darwin

Post by rightisright »

SAR groups need to start billing these idiots. Stupid should hurt.
User avatar
Netpackrat
Posts: 13983
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 11:04 pm

Re: Moron Thwarts Darwin

Post by Netpackrat »

arctictom wrote:We usually find those guys 2 or 3 years later or pieces of them anyway
Or pieces of their gear, etc.
Cognosce teipsum et disce pati

"People come and go in our lives, especially the online ones. Some leave a fond memory, and some a bad taste." -Aesop
User avatar
Jered
Posts: 7859
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 1:30 am

Re: Moron Thwarts Darwin

Post by Jered »

Netpackrat wrote:
arctictom wrote:We usually find those guys 2 or 3 years later or pieces of them anyway
Or pieces of their gear, etc.
You mean like bells?
The avalanche has already started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote.
User avatar
First Shirt
Posts: 4378
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 11:32 pm

Re: Moron Thwarts Darwin

Post by First Shirt »

Now, that's just wrong!! Especially if the bells smell like pepper spray!
But there ain't many troubles that a man caint fix, with seven hundred dollars and a thirty ought six."
Lindy Cooper Wisdom
User avatar
arctictom
Posts: 3204
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 7:57 pm

Re: Moron Thwarts Darwin

Post by arctictom »

Even bears need to eat , but rodents, birds , etc their is usually nothing after a while. As a side note never found a large bore rifle , funny thing .
You live and learn.
Or you don't live long.
Post Reply