I lifted this from "Free Republic"
News Update from Canada
The flood of Trump-fearing American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week.
The Republican presidential election is prompting an exodus among left-leaning Americans who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, pay taxes, and live according to the Constitution.
Canadian border residents say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, liberal arts majors, global-warming activists, and "green" energy proponents crossing their fields at night.
"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. "He was cold, exhausted and hungry, and begged me for a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?" In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields, but they just stuck their fingers in their ears and kept coming. Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals just south of the border, pack them into electric cars, and drive them across the border, where they are simply left to fend for themselves after the battery dies. "A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Alberta border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier water, or any gemelli with shrimp and arugula. All they had was a nice little Napa Valley cabernet and some kale chips. When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing that they fear persecution from Trump high-hairers.
Rumors are circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer, study the Constitution, and find jobs that actually contribute to the economy. In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said. Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, are buying up all the Barbara Streisand CD's, and are overloading the internet while downloading jazzercise apps to their cell phones. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "After all, how many art-history majors does one country need?
TOPICS: Conspiracy
KEYWORDS: canada; liberal; trump
They're Already Bailing Off to Canada
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They're Already Bailing Off to Canada
I'm not old--It's too early to be this late.
- JustinR
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Re: They're Already Bailing Off to Canada
Thanks...I needed a laugh.
"The armory was even better. Above the door was a sign: You dream, we build." -Mark Owen, No Easy Day
"My assault weapon won't be 'illegal,' it will be 'undocumented.'" -KL
"My assault weapon won't be 'illegal,' it will be 'undocumented.'" -KL
- dfwmtx
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Re: They're Already Bailing Off to Canada
"Wtf?!? CANADA has IMMIGRATION LAWS? You mean I have to fill out forms, meet qualifications, and pass tests??? But I thought Canada was liberal? I thought I could just cross the border, get a free job, a free house, and free healthcare! You know, like how America should be. But they have immigration laws like the US! Wtf is going on???"
"Arms are honor; slaves have neither."
"I am Chaos, I am alive...and I tell you that you are free!" -Eris Discordia
"I am Chaos, I am alive...and I tell you that you are free!" -Eris Discordia
- MiddleAgedKen
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Re: They're Already Bailing Off to Canada
They're going to find out it ain't the same world as when Gram Parsons was around....
"So I'm headed for the nearest foreign border
Vancouver just may be my kind of town
'Cause they don't have the kind of law and order
That tends to keep a good man underground"
"So I'm headed for the nearest foreign border
Vancouver just may be my kind of town
'Cause they don't have the kind of law and order
That tends to keep a good man underground"
Shop at Traitor Joe's: Just 10% to the Big Guy gets you the whole store and everything in it!
- SoupOrMan
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Re: They're Already Bailing Off to Canada
You could bury hippies alive in the 1960s?MiddleAgedKen wrote: 'Cause they don't have the kind of law and order
That tends to keep a good man underground"
WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED OF THIS AWESOMENESS
Remember, folks, you can't spell "douche" without "Che."
“PET PARENTS?” You’re not a “pet parent.” You’re a pet owner. Unless you’ve committed an unnatural act that succeeded in spite of biology. - Glenn Reynolds
“PET PARENTS?” You’re not a “pet parent.” You’re a pet owner. Unless you’ve committed an unnatural act that succeeded in spite of biology. - Glenn Reynolds
- Frankingun
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Re: They're Already Bailing Off to Canada
Presented without comment.
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- Jered
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Re: They're Already Bailing Off to Canada
This.
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The avalanche has already started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote.
- Netpackrat
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Re: They're Already Bailing Off to Canada
Cognosce teipsum et disce pati
"People come and go in our lives, especially the online ones. Some leave a fond memory, and some a bad taste." -Aesop
"People come and go in our lives, especially the online ones. Some leave a fond memory, and some a bad taste." -Aesop
- Gunnuts
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Re: They're Already Bailing Off to Canada
Sounds like opportunity to me...
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- randy
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Re: They're Already Bailing Off to Canada
...even before I read MHI, my response to seeing a poster for the stars of the latest Twilight movies was "I see 2 targets and a collaborator".