"Bring Me the Head of.....Raechel from Cardholder Services?"

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Aesop
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Re: "Bring Me the Head of.....Raechel from Cardholder Servic

Post by Aesop »

slowpoke wrote:So have you heard of the guy who programmed his asterisk pbx to waste the telemarketers time automatically?

I'll leave this here for your enjoyment.
http://www.tormentingtelemarketers.com/ ... ike-lenny/
Genius!

I would pay real money to have John Hillerman record a few dozen classic Higgins stories from Magnum PI for something like that:
"Well, that reminds me of the time the lads and I were trapped behind the lines in Malaysia..."

Maybe even save up enough to pay Tim Conway's day rate for the same thing.
"There are four types of homicide: felonious, accidental, justifiable, and praiseworthy." -Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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Vonz90
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Re: "Bring Me the Head of.....Raechel from Cardholder Servic

Post by Vonz90 »

Got one from the "IRS" last week that I was about to be arrested for tax evasion if I didn't give them credit card number to pay them right now. (I think they lost track because it was the Department of Education demanding payment for loans at the start of the call.)
MarkD
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Re: "Bring Me the Head of.....Raechel from Cardholder Servic

Post by MarkD »

Vonz90 wrote:Got one from the "IRS" last week that I was about to be arrested for tax evasion if I didn't give them credit card number to pay them right now. (I think they lost track because it was the Department of Education demanding payment for loans at the start of the call.)
I've gotten calls from Windows Support Services telling me I had malware on my computer and I needed to turn it on and visit a website to get it cleaned up.

yeah, no.
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Weetabix
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Re: "Bring Me the Head of.....Raechel from Cardholder Servic

Post by Weetabix »

Netpackrat wrote:Dealing with those people has been a lot less fun since there have been little ears in the house. :evil:
You just have to be creative.

I like to sound interested in them and their call, then break in frequently with irrelevant questions or questions based on an intentional misunderstanding. I get them talking about their careers, their kids, the weather where they are. It can be both amusing and relaxing. Then I heartily wish them luck in their endeavors after however long I want to spend with them.

The local university calls quite a bit for donations to public radio or some student fund or another. I get the student talking about her major, where she's from, etc. I ask her whether she's parked in any of the parking lots I designed on campus. I tell them frivolous stories about the elements that went into the design: "You know that big tree that the parking spaces go around on the east side of the lot? That's a shagbark hickory, and the university arborist at the time said it's one of the best specimens on campus. I've spent time looking at it, but I can't see the appeal." Then another question.

If you have time and treat it like a game, it's quite fun.

I think I should consider keeping a blank pistol around for the obnoxious ones and doing the knock on the table thing, tell them to hold on, "Hi. Oh. No, I don't have the money yet. Wait! Don't!" "Bang!" a few seconds of silence, the click. :twisted:
Note to self: start reading sig lines. They're actually quite amusing. :D
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JAG2955
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Re: "Bring Me the Head of.....Raechel from Cardholder Servic

Post by JAG2955 »

I think that I'm going to test my smoke alarm the next time one of them calls.
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randy
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Re: "Bring Me the Head of.....Raechel from Cardholder Servic

Post by randy »

Don't know how it would work on modern phones, but it could be entertaining to hook up a signal generator to the mic leads of old style landline instruments.
...even before I read MHI, my response to seeing a poster for the stars of the latest Twilight movies was "I see 2 targets and a collaborator".
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Erik
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Re: "Bring Me the Head of.....Raechel from Cardholder Servic

Post by Erik »

I've always thought it would be fun to just put down the phone and have them listen to a loud x-rated movie in the background, it would probably keep them busy a while and waste time.

I really dont want to lead them on, it might waste a little time for them, but it also wastes my time, which I really dont feel they are worth to waste it on. I just dont pick up the phone unless I recognize the number, and on the few exceptions I fail I just tell them not to call and hang up. I found that in the long run it's the least aggrevating solution for me personally, any type of payback just ruins my mood even more and waste my time.

A few times when they claim to call from a company where I'm a customer, I have demanded that they prove who they say they are, which can be quite interesting, it seems they never get that reply:
"Hi this is Rachel from Cardholder service"
"How can I be sure you are calling from Cardholder Services?"
"Well, you are a customer of hours so we are calling you"
"Yes, you obviously know who I am, but how do I know you are who you say you are?"
"Why would I lie about that?"
"I dont know, why would you? I dont know who you are, so I dont know if I can trust you to tell the truth about why you are calling."

And so on...

The few times I've done that is seems to stun them, it seems it's never happend to them before, and they have no script for it. Which is really stupid, considering all the phone frauds that is going on around here. Asking an unknown caller to prove their identify is not asking too much.
"Life is tough, but it's tougher if you're stupid."
John Wayne
toad
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Re: "Bring Me the Head of.....Raechel from Cardholder Servic

Post by toad »

There was a story going around about a guy who got a telemarketing call and he imitated a homicide detective in the middle of a crime scene investigation. The guy claimed he had been violently murdered and questioned the telemarketer on the hows a whys he knew the victim. He wanted the telemarketers name, address, and home phone number. He asked for his managers name and phone number and wanted to talk to the manager. The telemarketer got pretty shaken up.
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Rod
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Re: "Bring Me the Head of.....Raechel from Cardholder Servic

Post by Rod »

toad wrote:There was a story going around about a guy who got a telemarketing call and he imitated a homicide detective in the middle of a crime scene investigation. The guy claimed he had been violently murdered and questioned the telemarketer on the hows a whys he knew the victim. He wanted the telemarketers name, address, and home phone number. He asked for his managers name and phone number and wanted to talk to the manager. The telemarketer got pretty shaken up.
Here you go.

Or this one. sorry about the ad.
Last edited by Rod on Tue Aug 18, 2015 3:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
one can be a Democrat, or one can choose to be an American.
Good acting requires an imagination; reality requires a person not getting lost in their imagination.
"It's better to have a gun if you need it". Felix's opthamologist
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Yogimus
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Re: "Bring Me the Head of.....Raechel from Cardholder Servic

Post by Yogimus »

"This is an emergency line, if you call back I will have to report it"
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