Two Chinese professors...

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Cybrludite
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Two Chinese professors...

Postby Cybrludite » Fri Oct 28, 2016 5:41 am

(Stolen from Facebook)

A pair of college professors in China, Dr Minh, PhD history specializing in the antebellum American south; and Dr. Hu, PhD entymology were fast friends, and had decided to immigrate to the United States after their retirement and buy an old plantation property to restore and farm (with paid labor, these being more modern times.)
Minh, being older, had retired first and gone to America, searching out the property and spending most of their shared funds restoring it and getting a crop planted and growing.
One day, near harvest time, it was discovered the crops were in danger by a mysterious and very fast moving bug. Minh ordered his men to trap samples of the insect for examination. The bugs, being very fast, resisted all attempts at capture until one enterprising soul lured some of them into a fireplace in a disused outbuilding and trapped them there.
The men reported success trapping some to Dr Minh, and he immediately started dialing Dr Hu. The men objected, saying that they still hadn't actually collected the samples. Minh waved them off, saying "Hu knows what weevil lurks in the hearths of Minh."
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Jericho941
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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby Jericho941 » Fri Oct 28, 2016 6:12 am

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh

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Jered
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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby Jered » Fri Oct 28, 2016 7:40 am

:lol: :lol:

That's punny.
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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby Old Grafton » Fri Oct 28, 2016 11:03 am

However, during the phone conversation, Hu demurred; "See no weevil, hear no weevil......."
I'm not old--It's too early to be this late.

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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby randy » Fri Oct 28, 2016 12:13 pm

Ban hammer, ban hammer, I know it's around here somewhere........ ;)
...even before I read MHI, my response to seeing a poster for the stars of the latest Twilight movies was "I see 2 targets and a collaborator".

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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby Catbird » Fri Oct 28, 2016 12:14 pm

After capturing a couple of specimens, Dr. Minh discovered that Chinese customs would only allow the import of one bug, Dr. Minh wrote to Dr. Hu, asking which one he should send for analysis. Dr. Hu told him to send the smaller one, "For in science, one must always choose the lesser of two weevils."
"If at first you don't succeed, that's one data point." XKCD

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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby SoupOrMan » Fri Oct 28, 2016 4:28 pm

COMRADES! ALL GOOD CITIZENS SHOULD ENTREAT TOGETHER TO BOO THIS MAN!

(The only good point to studying Chinese history: getting to show that Communism is even more ridiculous than the Imperial systems preceding it)
Remember, folks, you can't spell "douche" without "Che."

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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby First Shirt » Fri Oct 28, 2016 6:15 pm

"He who would pun, would pick a pocket."
But there ain't many troubles that a man caint fix, with seven hundred dollars and a thirty ought six."
Lindy Cooper Wisdom

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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby Old Grafton » Fri Oct 28, 2016 7:05 pm

First Shirt wrote:"He who would pun, would pick a pocket."


Neverr. As a callow youth I once read Ben Franklin sewed fish hooks in his pockets. I immediately got the point.
I'm not old--It's too early to be this late.

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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby Gunnuts » Fri Oct 28, 2016 7:11 pm

That's it....and on a Friday, too.

pun gun.gif
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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby SoupOrMan » Tue Nov 01, 2016 8:33 pm

It's like the time that Robocop put an ad for a bassist for his band on Craigslist:

"Come with me or there will be... treble."
Remember, folks, you can't spell "douche" without "Che."

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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby randy » Tue Nov 01, 2016 9:53 pm

I know that bloody ban hammer is around here someplace!
...even before I read MHI, my response to seeing a poster for the stars of the latest Twilight movies was "I see 2 targets and a collaborator".

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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby Old Grafton » Wed Nov 02, 2016 12:25 am

Although it's been hard for quite a while....I can keep it up!! :lol:
I'm not old--It's too early to be this late.

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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby SoupOrMan » Wed Nov 02, 2016 6:09 am

My aunt and uncle have a couple of fishing cabins up along the Illinois River. Every summer the nearby town of Bath holds its Redneck Fishing Tournament. Basically, you do whatever you can to catch as many Asian carp as you can without a pole.

Sometimes you'll have a professional riverman join in on the fun as well. Jerry LeBell runs a towboat most of the time from LaSalle to Alton, but this time he wasn't captaining anything bigger than a souped-up pontoon boat. So Jerry is cleaning up with this technique where he puts out huge fishing nets on each side of his boat and powers through the schools of fish. The fish then jump up due to the disturbance of the boat and right into his net. It's pretty awesome, really. Well, after his heat was over and everything was weighed he went over to a mysterious trio of gentlemen who handed him a big wad of cash for his pile of bigheads.

I asked one of the tournament official if what Jerry was doing was legal and he shot me a look. It was then that I learned to ask not for whom Lebell trolls; he trolls for three.
Remember, folks, you can't spell "douche" without "Che."

“PET PARENTS?” You’re not a “pet parent.” You’re a pet owner. Unless you’ve committed an unnatural act that succeeded in spite of biology. - Glenn Reynolds

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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby Netpackrat » Wed Nov 02, 2016 6:48 am

Image
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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby Old Grafton » Wed Nov 02, 2016 9:17 am

Ok, NPR, I'm tarred of this. I get the pint.
I'm not old--It's too early to be this late.

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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby Netpackrat » Wed Nov 02, 2016 10:20 am

Image
Cognosce teipsum et disce pati

"People come and go in our lives, especially the online ones. Some leave a fond memory, and some a bad taste." -Aesop

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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby Cybrludite » Fri Nov 11, 2016 8:49 am

15037206_1135432243159553_7872971940331290055_n.jpg
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"If it ain't the Devil's Music, you ain't doin' it right." - Chris Thomas King

"When liberal democracies collapse, someone comes along who promises to make the trains run on time if we load the right people into them." - Tam K.

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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby Gunnuts » Fri Nov 11, 2016 5:02 pm

THAT'S IT!!

Get a rope - color - text.jpg
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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby First Shirt » Fri Nov 11, 2016 6:11 pm

I really didn't want to do this, but you've forced me into it.

RELee.jpeg


I hope you're all happy now.
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But there ain't many troubles that a man caint fix, with seven hundred dollars and a thirty ought six."
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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby Old Grafton » Fri Nov 11, 2016 7:14 pm

OK, everybody, don't be Lincoln any more puns to this thread. I for one Sheridan want to get to get blamed for Forrest of you.
I'm not old--It's too early to be this late.

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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby Captain Wheelgun » Sat Nov 12, 2016 2:23 am

Old Grafton wrote:OK, everybody, don't be Lincoln any more puns to this thread. I for one Sheridan want to get to get blamed for Forrest of you.

Don't worry, the devil Meade them do it. They couldn't Buford not to along with it. It just wouldn't be Farragut. :twisted:
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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby MiddleAgedKen » Sat Nov 12, 2016 5:28 am

It's people like you (all of you) what cause unrest.
Watergate didn't have a body count.

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Re: Two Chinese professors...

Postby SoupOrMan » Sun Nov 13, 2016 6:54 am

Unrest? Naw, we're a real riot!
Remember, folks, you can't spell "douche" without "Che."

“PET PARENTS?” You’re not a “pet parent.” You’re a pet owner. Unless you’ve committed an unnatural act that succeeded in spite of biology. - Glenn Reynolds


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