Local Anchor Has Enough of the Lardassians.

Keep it clean people, this is almost a family friendly site
toad
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Local Anchor Has Enough of the Lardassians.

Post by toad »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kODnzx694PQ
Well he's only a local anchor, but maybe it's a sign of hope. :lol:
Old Grafton
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Re: Local Anchor Has Enough of the Lardassians.

Post by Old Grafton »

He joins a multitude of us.
I'm not old--It's too early to be this late.
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PawPaw
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Re: Local Anchor Has Enough of the Lardassians.

Post by PawPaw »

Who are they talking about? {/snark}
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Aesop
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Re: Local Anchor Has Enough of the Lardassians.

Post by Aesop »

The first news director who makes a public pledge to ban all Fatassian news will have the #1-rated newscast in their market in days.
The first program director who relegates all the celebri-lite bullshit to any other channel will experience a ratings bonanza in local Nielsens that most station general managers would slaughter puppies on live TV to get.

Word to your mother: Meryl Streep is an actual celebrity. Robert DeNiro is an actual celebrity. They have done actual things to get to that point.
Nota bene the utter dearth of news stories about them walking through Macy's in assless chaps with their hair on fire to get three seconds of pseudo-fame.
The other wannabes who do exactly that (Bruce Jenner, Miley Cyrus, call your publicists) are nothing but the paste-eating retarded kids pried loose from licking the windows on the short bus, shipped to Hollywood, and looking for approbation for being the 478th person to yell "I am Spartacus!"
In assless chaps.

In a just universe, they would simply be quietly caned (50 lashes less one should about do it), then set free on condition that they STFU and stop annoying the greater population at large.
After two bites at that apple, they would be declared free targets of public annoyance, and any assault on their persons short of homicide would be legally permissible by act of the legislature.
Homicide would require the state to respond with stern finger-wagging at the offender, and 4 hours of community service picking up the local community park.
If the homicide was ruled accidental (e.g.: "I wasn't trying to drown him, your Honor, I was just trying to get him to look at the fish in the pond at the local park, from underwater..."), the penalty would drop to one hour of litter pick-up.

After suffering any three such assaults in a ten-year period, the recidivist faux-lebrity would be sentenced to be dropped into a 20'x20' pit, 60 feet deep, with Rosie O'Donnell, and located within 5 miles of Frenchman's Flats, NV, within the borders of the National Nuclear Test site.
When the population of the pit threatened to enable a successful escape via human pyramiding, the pit would be sealed with concrete at the top.

Any person(s) committing 5 or more homicides, intentional or unintentional, on the faux-lebrities in question, would be declared a faux-lebrity in their own right, caned under the provisions above, and subject to the exact same restricitions heretofore outlined.

Future pit celebrities after Ms. O'Donnell's entombment would be determined by call-in talent show voting, and a national numerical roster developed, so that the next ten people on the list would know where they stood on the overall Pit List pecking order. The lineal list would be revised annually, or whenever we'd worked our way through the next ten, if necessary sooner.

8:1 odds I could get that on the initiative ballot in CA if the courts would quietly go f*** off, and even money I could get it passed on the first try.
"There are four types of homicide: felonious, accidental, justifiable, and praiseworthy." -Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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Rod
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Re: Local Anchor Has Enough of the Lardassians.

Post by Rod »

Aesop wrote:
8:1 odds I could get that on the initiative ballot in CA if the courts would quietly go f*** off, and even money I could get it passed on the first try.
Especially if the crews of the television shows and movies were allowed a number of votes in proportion to the number of hours they've had to be around the aforementioned quasi-famous?
one can be a Democrat, or one can choose to be an American.
Good acting requires an imagination; reality requires a person not getting lost in their imagination.
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rightisright
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Re: Local Anchor Has Enough of the Lardassians.

Post by rightisright »

We really need to get Aesop making reality shows... you know, the type that would actually be fucking real! ;)
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dfwmtx
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Re: Local Anchor Has Enough of the Lardassians.

Post by dfwmtx »

I consider all things Kardasian akin to a coil of dogshit on the carpet of a 5-star hotel (as evidenced by the fact I don't even bother to concern myself with spelling their name right). Alas, their stench has permeated even to this sophisticated and cultured section of the Internet.
"Arms are honor; slaves have neither."

"I am Chaos, I am alive...and I tell you that you are free!" -Eris Discordia
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Weetabix
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Re: Local Anchor Has Enough of the Lardassians.

Post by Weetabix »

rightisright wrote:We really need to get Aesop making reality shows... you know, the type that would actually be fucking real! ;)
Plus, he uses words like "approbation." I like that word. :geek:
Note to self: start reading sig lines. They're actually quite amusing. :D
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randy
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Re: Local Anchor Has Enough of the Lardassians.

Post by randy »

I can never hear those twits names without hearing it as Cardassian. :geek:

They are certainly more pleasant to look at than the celeb version :twisted:
Cardassian.jpg
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...even before I read MHI, my response to seeing a poster for the stars of the latest Twilight movies was "I see 2 targets and a collaborator".
toad
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Re: Local Anchor Has Enough of the Lardassians.

Post by toad »

I looked at the Drudge Report and noticed no mention of the "Look! Squirrel girls." However it does look like a shark tank getting Piranhas dumped in with the sharks. Waiting for some one to dump in the beef blood.
I'll have to check "The Daily Mail" to see if Iran has nuked a city or that US forces have been attacked by Chinese. Or M. Obama has taken the girls and moved to South America with Hillary and her girl friend.....Oh look!
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