New faces on bills

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dfwmtx
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Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 10:04 pm

New faces on bills

Post by dfwmtx »

So the US Treasury is going to phase out Andrew Jackson and put Harriet Tubman on the $20....in 30 years. Between that time, president (redacted) calls you up, appoints you as "czar of putting new faces on the money". Whose faces do you want to put on the new dollar bills.
Rules: no one on there now stays, all go. No new denominations. This is because I know someone's going to say "I'd put (insert socialist democrat here) on the $1k, $1mil dollar bill since s/he's going to make us look like Weimar Germany or Zimbabwe and we're gonna need those high value bills to buy bread". Only $1,$2, $5, $10, $20, $50, $100. No $3s with Barney Frank or Harvey Milk on them. Who goes on what?

$1 - Johnny Cash, giving the angry 1-finger salute. (I still remember an Arsenio Hall joke when he said people in L.A. were flipping off visiting then-president George H.W. Bush, saying they were telling him how much money they had in their pockets).

$2 - John Adams. Second president for the $2 bill, why not?

$5 - Samuel Clemens/Mark Twain. Because there's some photos of him out there where he looks worthy of being on a bill.

$10- Richard Nixon. Why? Because "fuck you!" that's why. And a snarling Dick Cheney on the back for good measure.

$20- Sorry Ms. Tubman, I'm ditching you entirely. Instead I want a map of the US on the front, with some quintessential landmarks on the back like Mt. Rushmore, the Washington Monument, the Statue of Liberty, etc on the bacl.

$50- Elvis Presley - because when I think of the 50s, I think of Elvis, so why not put him on the $50?

$100 - Al Pacino as Tony Montana, preferably one of those shots when he's coked up and lounging around. Because when you've got drugs and huge amounts of cash, they're probably not in small denominations.

Sorry folks, I'm dropping "In God We Trust" and restoring "Mind Your Business" on the bills. If anyone complains, the old motto is getting amended with "All others pay cash".
"Arms are honor; slaves have neither."

"I am Chaos, I am alive...and I tell you that you are free!" -Eris Discordia
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