James Bond: SPECTRE

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Aesop
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James Bond: SPECTRE

Post by Aesop »

Call the ASPCA. Somewhere in Hollywood, there's a pooch who should be submitting a rape kit, because it was well and truly screwed.
Sam Mendes has done what even Roger Moore playing the part in his 60s couldn't accomplish: he made 007 boring, and turned him into a blooming metrosexual in the process. If it gets any worse in subsequent outings, Q will have to start supplying 007 with tampons for his mangina.
It's many of the locales, some of the toys, a few of the cars, and all the set pieces you'd expect. And all done so predictably, so lackluster, so abjectly suspenseless, so just plain yawnworthy, that at 148 minutes long, you wonder why they didn't just turn the cameras on and leave everything in, because the outtakes would have been at least as entertaining as the actual movie. Two villians got away lucky: one had his eyes poked out, and another had them eaten by ravens. I would trade places with either one if you told me I had to sit through this flick again.
An hour in, I was wishing they'd go back and play some of the pre-movie trailers again.
Two hours in, I was wondering what was playing on the Oxygen Channel. And wishing I'd brought a sleep mask and a set of ear plugs to the movie.
The only bright shining moment of the entire flick was after the interminable credits, the promise in the final seconds that "JAMES BOND WILL RETURN".
Which will be great compared to this time, just for the change.
The sad part was noting that he made no noticeable appearance in this film.

Stay home, wait for Netflix, or even wait for this to show up on cable.
Which, if word of mouth has anything to do with things, should be the day after Thanksgiving.

My rating: Jiggle the handle on this one, and light a candle to St. Fartius, and hope neither the solid evidence nor the smell from this flick lingers.

But somewhere, Michael Apted is happy: With the release of SPECTRE, he no longer holds the bottom rung of the Bond-verse with The World Is Not Enough. But it was close. The last time I felt this bad after seeing a movie I expected to like was after Star Trek: Nemesis.
Sam Mendes did that POS Jarhead. Now he's plopped this pantload out. If there's a fund to stop him from making any more movies, put me down for a month's pay.
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skb12172
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Re: James Bond: SPECTRE

Post by skb12172 »

I was going to see it tonight and was even going to spring extra for the 3D IMAX. Now I'm not. Thanks for keeping me from wasting 2 1/2 hours and $18.50.
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dfwmtx
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Re: James Bond: SPECTRE

Post by dfwmtx »

I wonder if George Lazenby needs a job. I'd rather sit through "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" until I wear out the disc or the Blu-Ray than have to sit through any Daniel Craig Bond films again.
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toad
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Re: James Bond: SPECTRE

Post by toad »

Even die hard never met a Bond Movie I didn't like, fans are panning Spectre.
Aesop
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Re: James Bond: SPECTRE

Post by Aesop »

toad wrote:Even die hard never met a Bond Movie I didn't like, fans are panning Spectre.
Hi, I'm Aesop. Pleased to meetcha. :D

Oh, and so are decent professional film critics:e.g.: "'SPECTRE' Is The Worst 007 Movie In 30 Years" - Forbes.
"There are four types of homicide: felonious, accidental, justifiable, and praiseworthy." -Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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Kommander
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Re: James Bond: SPECTRE

Post by Kommander »

From the Forbes review: "For those longtime fans who have wanted to see something of a return to the broader and campier films that defined the Roger Moore era of the 007 franchise."

Who the fuck wanted this? I've never heard any say "Oh these new Bond films are all dark and gloomy, what I liked was the goofy Roger Moore films with stupid villains and wacky sound effects."
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blackeagle603
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Re: James Bond: SPECTRE

Post by blackeagle603 »

/meh/ Wasn't that bad. Completed an arc.
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Guncrazy
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Re: James Bond: SPECTRE

Post by Guncrazy »

I thought it was a pretty good movie for what it was. But it felt like the end of the Bond franchise, to me. The character has simply changed too much to continue without a(nother) reboot. But I'm simply not that interested in seeing it continue.
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evan price
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Re: James Bond: SPECTRE

Post by evan price »

Had a date night with the missus. Choice was Spectre or The Martian, chose 007 because mrs price might bit be into harder science fiction.
What a mistake.
Predictable. Slow. Cliched. Tired. LONG! Even mrs price had issues with suspension of disbelief. I thought Quantum of Solace was bad. This one is right down there.
Hell, I would rather watch the goofy-ass Cubby Broccoli-era 1985 "View to a Kill" than this. I expect a Roger Moore film to be goofy.


They go through all this setup to introduce Ernst Stavro Bloefeld. Then he gets maybe 20 minutes of movie time, and comes off with a letdown ending.
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Denis
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Re: James Bond: SPECTRE

Post by Denis »

Thanks, Aesop. You've probably saved me from paying for three hours in a cinema seat. I'll just wait for the disc.

Judging by what Daniel Craig's been saying, I think Spectre will be the last iteration of his bond character. If the movie is as bad as you say, they'll have to re-boot for the next Bond.
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