Difficult Day Today

[MarkD]

Today is 23 years since my Mom went to her final reward. Some years is sneaks up on me, some years I'm aware of it for weeks beforehand, this year was the latter.

You'd think after all this time it wouldn't bother me so much, but it does.

I've concluded that the biggest disservice you can give someone who's lost someone is to tell them "You'll get over it." You don't. The pain isn't as sharp, and it's not always unbearable, but it's still there and if it ever goes away it takes longer than 23 years to do so.

Maybe the fact that I'll be celebrating my 50th birthday three weeks from tomorrow is making me a little maudlin too. If I'd known I'd live this long I'd have taken better care of myself.

[Netpackrat]

I understand entirely how you feel. Last year when my son was born, I lost it completely in the delivery room because my parents couldn't be there to greet him, and he will never know them. It never gets any easier, you just push it away for a while. But it always comes back.

[Greg]

I haven't had it with my parents, but the great-grandmother who raised me for several years passed a few years back. It does hurt somewhat less, over time. Just take a long shower, you'll feel better.

[tfbncc]

Next month will be 20 years since my wife died.

[MarkD]

Next month will be 20 years since my wife died.

I cant imagine that..........................

Shit, I'm getting teary just thinking about it.

I'm sorry doesn't cut it, but it's all i have to offer.

[308Mike]

You have my condolences.

My dad passed away 10 years ago last March. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him, over 10 years later. My mom's health is terrible, her cancer is causing excruciating pain and we're doing everything we can to make her comfortable. I'm pretty sure she doesn't have much time left on this earth. Yesterday, she told our family friend (of over 40 years & who's also her caretaker) that she could see my dad at the foot of her bed, and he was telling her it was time to go. Of course, our family friend couldn't see anything other than the TV and the wall.

I've heard stories similar to this before, so we're mentally preparing for her passing. We just don't want to continue seeing her suffer from her rapidly spreading cancer. It's going to really suck when she goes, and I suspect that's going to be real soon.

Ray, I'm so sorry to hear about your wife. I can't even imagine how that would feel. I'd be devastated if anything ever happened to my wife.

[Dub_James]

20 years since my Mother as of last October. Got back to the graveside for the first time in 8 and a half years in April.

I hear ya.

[MarkD]

308Mike: my condolences on what you're going thru.

My Mom died of cancer too, but she had brain cancer. It sucked, but the ONE thing i can say about it is that it didn't hurt. She had no idea what was happening, but mentally she was gone long before she died. Still i count my blessings.

[Mike OTDP]

It's been just over nine years since i lost my parents, both the same day. No, you don't get over it. Merely somewhat more numb to it.

[TheArmsman]

You have my sincere condolences.

Back in 1988, while stationed at Camp Smith, I was the last one to see my mother alive. She passed away on my birthday.

Then, after the wake, went to South Korea to see my girlfriend. I had been scheduled to be there about the 12th of May. When I got to Osan, found here in bed for 2 Air Force guys. Things went downhill from there.

It took my fiancee several years to help me learn to celebrate my birthday again. My 50th birthday last week was a blast, with her help.

Heck, it was 16 years before I even went on a date.